August 2015

Which Of These Intimacy Infractions Are You Committing?

Too many want relationships while they are still angry or hurt about previous ones, but won’t admit it. They expect their new partner to prove them wrong about all their negative ideas about love. Others are in auto pilot relationships where they do what they do because they’ve been doing it, not because it gets them the happiness their hearts actually long for. Still others are putting themselves to sleep night after night with tears in their ears, surrounded by darkness, silently suffering while lying next to someone they’ve been having sex with for years and yet they still feel totally disconnected. Then, there are those who get into relationships wanting emotional availability they are not willing to reciprocate. They claim they don’t know how to love because their sorry family and/or relationship history never taught them how to be in love, but that doesn’t stop them from eliciting emotional attachment from you because they want the commitment experience without the commitment responsibility.

Is it really any wonder that relationship statistics are as dismal as they are? And those are just the ones that get reported. You know good and well that you or someone you know is just a statistic that never got surveyed in any study. Yet there you are, wanting a relationship or in a relationship where you are your own worst enemy. You’ve been sabotaging yourself for years and blaming any and every thing else other than the choices you’ve made. Here are some of the most common ways relationships implode:

Fear – going into a relationship with the primary goal of protecting your heart above all else; perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop; looking for something to go wrong: creating something wrong if it doesn’t happen soon enough on its own.

Toxic self esteem – ‘low self esteem’ has become such a buzz phrase, it’s lost virtually all its meaning. Besides, it’s inaccurate most of the time. Toxic self esteem happens when someone with a low opinion of themselves in some way creates ways to force anyone who even wants to love them to have the same low opinion. It’s actually an extremely arrogant point of view that usually has the double payoff of making one sympathetic and superior simultaneously. It’s a winning lottery ticket for emotional manipulators of all stripes.

Dishonesty – first with self, then by extension about self to others. This makes intimacy a total impossibility no matter the performance of the partner. No matter how many hoops are successfully cleared, it will never be enough because you’re in love with someone who doesn’t exist; with someone your mate created in order to get you to fall in love with them, even though they very likely have no real intention of loving you back.

Fortunately, even if you’ve been doing these things for a lifetime, there’s still a way out. Your past does not have to be your future. Visit my website at www.edenadele.com and sign up for my email list. I’ll give you all the details and you can decide from there. Or you can keep doing what you’ve been doing. How’s that been working for you?

Luck

We all want more luck. Intuition and luck are inextricably linked. Work on intuition and the luck will follow…

What Is Intimacy Anyway? How Do I Get It To Last?

So many of us are so locked off from our own hearts, it’s hard to even think of how to answer these critical questions. To keep things simple and clear, let’s begin with: Intimacy (into-me-see) – a spiritual connection between two people for the purpose of becoming greater together than either could be without the other. This connection is deeply felt in the heart and often sexually expressed.

3 Secrets of Building Lasting Intimacy

 First and foremost, intimacy is an inside job. Intimacy (into-ME-see) can only be accomplished from a foundation of unvarnished honesty. The main reason lasting intimacy eludes so many of us is primarily because this simple notion is so entirely frightening to us. We’ve bought the hype that ‘getting close’ to someone requires game playing, manipulation, and deception. The truth is, no one can see clearly into you if you are actively obstructing the view. These characters we create, our avatars, are built from the idea that in and of ourselves, we would be rejected by the one with which we’re seeking connection. The FACT is that most of the time, people would still seek connection with the TRUE YOU if you would only allow them to.

 Next, you must take complete responsibility for your own feelings. This is a huge factor in the demise of most relationships. This idea that your needs are supposed to met by anyone outside of your own skin is the same as trying to erect your castle on a foundation of sand. You literally set the relationship up for failure. It is only a matter of time. Pay close attention here. NO ONE can
MAKE you happy, sad, angry, or anything else. Intimacy is an INSIDE job, meaning it begins between your ears – not between your thighs. It takes far more than joined genitals to make an intimate connection. Until you can bring yourself to a partnership in your entirety and completely accepting of the responsibility for your own feelings of happiness, self value, contentment – the intimacy you seek will continue to elude you.

 Finally, understand and accept that you can only reasonably expect to get about 80% of what you want from any relationship. “80%??? Eden, is that really the best I can do??” No. It’s not. It’s an average; a reasonable estimate. You may get very fortunate and get more. The Pareto Principle was right for relationships, too. You can only reasonably expect to get what you want from a relationship an average of about 80% of the time. The “80/20 rule” is applicable to several life areas. When people hear it in other places, they tend to simply accept it. But, when they hear it about relationships, they get ‘righteously indignant’ and want to launch into tirades about how they ‘deserve’ so much more. That’s a dangerous idea to hold onto if you want your intimacy to last. Until we stop being unreasonable about this issue, our relationships will continue to implode.

“OK, Eden. How do I put all this together to build lasting intimacy?”

I’m glad you asked. As with everything else in your life, it all begins with YOU. YOU must be willing to do the work to accurately define yourself for yourself by yourself. YOU must get clear about who and how YOU are ALONE – apart from any of your connections to anyone or anything else other than God. Who are you in the dark where no one else sees? THAT person must be COMPLETELY loved, accepted, and embraced BY YOU BEFORE you can ever show up in a relationship whole enough to make true intimacy last. Anything else and you’re just fooling yourself and wasting your irreplaceable time.

“I get that, Eden, but I’ve been on this hamster wheel for so long – I don’t know how to get off. What do I do? Where do I start?”

I can help with that. It’s simple, practical, and effective. Contact me at eden@edenadele.com and stay tuned.

Accepting Change

Change is happening everywhere in the world.
Humanity is shifting consciousness.
The old way is disappearing.
The new world is emerging.
If you are resisting to change,
your process may not be easy.
The best thing for you to do right now is to
let go of your resistance and go with the flow.
Just accept change.
Allow universe to guide you and support you
Have courage to take an action and move forward.

The Change book series is truly a gift for anyone
who is in the process of change.
I am grateful that I am a
part of this community.
It is time for all of us to come together as one
and help others in this time of change.

Let’s create miracles.
Love, light, & infinite power!
Chiwa Higashi

http://ShineLightNow.com/english

Are You Speaking Power Words?

When you think about the words that you speak about yourself, what kind of words are you speaking? Do you speak words of empowerment, power, ability, and/or strength? Or do you speak words of uncertainty, weakness, and/or inability? The words that you speak about yourself and over your life have tremendous power.

We have an organ in our brain called the Reticular Activating System or RAS. The RAS is designed to lead us towards that which we deem important. A good example of how the RAS works would be the car that you currently drive. Let’s say for sake of example that you are currently driving a Honda Accord and prior to purchasing your Honda you drove a Ford Escort. Prior to purchasing your Honda you may have noticed Honda on the road, but did you notice how many appeared to you once you purchased your new Honda? Didn’t they seem to come out of hiding?

Why did this happen? The way the RAS works is that whatever you determine as important (i.e. the car that you are driving) it points that out to you.

This is an amazing organ that we have and we can actually use it to our advantage. How do we do that? I’m glad you asked.

Through speaking powerful words. The words that you speak, combined with heart felt emotion, program your RAS to find what it is that is important to you.

As an example, if you want to earn a certain amount you will visualize (see in your mind’s eye or use your imagination) yourself earning the amount you desire and say out loud to yourself using words that are filled with belief that you are now earning the desired amount

Another example would be if you wanted to live in a certain type of house. You would visualize living in this house and tell yourself using belief filled words that you are now living in this kind of house.

Once you have performed this step enough times, your RAS will go to work looking for what it is that you desire and it will find it for you. It is then up to you to acquire this item.

I have just seen this work in my own life, again. I have been searching for the right group of people to whom I would like to be speaking on a regular basis. I speak on Finding Your Purpose in Life and although I believe this subject is a benefit to anyone, there is one demographic that I wanted to speak to, but I wasn’t certain who it was. I had been telling myself that I was thankful that I knew whom I was speaking to.

I was on a call last week listening to other speakers and how they were running their speaking businesses and one speaker was talking about how she speaks to universities. As I listened to her discuss this, I realized that I was hearing the demographic to which I wanted to speak.

My RAS was working on my behalf to find what I was seeking and it found it for me. Now all I have to do is locate the right people to talk with and let them know how I can assist them.

What is it that you want in your life? Are you letting life happen to you or are you creating your life and using your RAS to benefit you?

If you need assistance learning to speak powerful words over yourself, contact us for a complimentary consultation.

Your Destiny Coach,

Andy Craig
www.AbundantLifeCoachingNow.com

Do You Live in the Moment vs. TheCreation of Your Mind?

I recently attended a meeting of importance. It was centered around my son and community members. Weeks and days leading up to this event made me uncomfortable, anxious and angry. I had created a sense of negative energy and outcome. I have many tools and ability to see the positive, but found my mind wanted to protect me from imagined pain. I have been adding to my skills and the day before tapped into emotional release (EFT). I felt the release of anger, the replacement of peace and embarked on what I anticipated as hard. Deciding to let it just be what it was, I found myself surrounded by unconditional love and support for my son and I. The confirmation of living in the moment and the experience embedded in my heart and soul once again. I am reminded that my thoughts do not make any situation good or bad. It is only by living each moment as it comes with no judgment that I am able to react from my true self of unconditional love, compassion and truth. I would suggest to you to consider letting go of pre judgment of any situation, no mater how difficult it may appear, and enter it with knowing you are an infinite being of unconditional love, joy, power and happiness beyond your imagination. After all, our journey in life is about all experiences, they may seems less than wonderful at times, but in hindsight they are all with purpose in creating a path to becoming our true selves. Life is amazing!

Do You Live in the Moment vs. TheCreation of Your Mind?

I recently attended a meeting of importance. It was centered around my son and community members. Weeks and days leading up to this event made me uncomfortable, anxious and angry. I had created a sense of negative energy and outcome. I have many tools and ability to see the positive, but found my mind wanted to protect me from imagined pain. I have been adding to my skills and the day before tapped into emotional release (EFT). I felt the release of anger, the replacement of peace and embarked on what I anticipated as hard. Deciding to let it just be what it was, I found myself surrounded by unconditional love and support for my son and I. The confirmation of living in the moment and the experience embedded in my heart and soul once again. I am reminded that my thoughts do not make any situation good or bad. It is only by living each moment as it comes with no judgment that I am able to react from my true self of unconditional love, compassion and truth. I would suggest to you to consider letting go of pre judgment of any situation, no mater how difficult it may appear, and enter it with knowing you are an infinite being of unconditional love, joy, power and happiness beyond your imagination. After all, our journey in life is about all experiences, they may seems less than wonderful at times, but in hindsight they are all with purpose in creating a path to becoming our true selves. Life is amazing!

Now is the Time!

If you have something that you really want to do in your life,
and haven’t done it yet, now is the time.
If you are thinking that you will do it someday, you never will.
All you have is now moment.
Decide that you can and will do it now.
Then universe will support you and make it happen somehow.

I always wanted to go to Mt Shasta but never did for many years.
One day, I just decided to do it, and started driving right away.
I am in Colorado so it took 3-4 days(I went slow ) for me to get there.
It was sometimes tiring but I made it through.

When I saw Mt Shasta for the first time, I was so excited and very happy!!
It was so beautiful and I felt powerful energy. My dream came true.
I climbed towards the top (not quite so close though),
and felt like I was standing at the top of the world!
It was so sacred and beautiful. I didn’t have any words to describe.
I was filled with gratitude and awe.
I felt like I accomplished something big. I felt power.

I am so grateful for that experience.
I am glad that I took an action and just did it.

If you have something you want to do, now is the time.
If you want change in your life, now is the time.

You can do it and you will be very happy.
Take an action and make it happen.

Love, light, & infinite power!
Chiwa Higashi

http://ShineLightNow.com/english

————–
*Angel message:
Your time has come.
We are guiding you and
Supporting you.
Have courage to take an action.
We love you always.

Seriously! You only have 168 hours!

How Are You Spending Them?

Time. It’s the essence of our being. Schedules, deadlines, expirations. How you choose to spend your months, weeks, minutes and seconds can be a tumultuous task.

What does your breakdown look like?

Let’s take out the hours we know for sure or use a best guess scenario:

ONE WEEK SCHEDULE SAMPLE FOR WORK|LIFE|BALANCE
Task Time Spent Scenario/Variance
Work 40 Hours Based on a full time job(9-5)
Sleep 56 Hours Based on 8 hours per night
Exercise 7 Hours 1 hour, 7 days/week
Social 8 Hours Date Night (4) hours, Networking (4) hours
Self-Care 5.5 Hours Based on 30 minutes/day – (reading/quiet escape/meditation)
Family 35 Hours Based on 5 hours/day (morning/afternoon/evening combined)
Friends 3 Hours Based on one – two visits
Spiritual 1.5 Hours Based on your interpretation of spirituality/attending church
Total 156 Hours Does this look like your weekly Work|Life|Balance equation?

Based on this scenario above you have 12 hours still left in your week. How would you spend the remainder of your hours? It seems like a high number but try completing this list and see what your total is. You may find that your goal is over 168 hours.

Please note that when I am working one-on-one with my private mentoring clients the above chart changes for shift workers, health care professionals, firefighters, police service personnel and entrepreneurs. It’s a mindful exercise that takes time to implement. and no two schedules are identical.

Mama Deb has created a template for you to use. Email me at info@mamadeb.com and I will personally email it to you.

Work|Life|Balance takes patience, practice and constant assessment to achieve what will work for you. It will constantly be changing, however, if you have a plan in place you are setting the foundation.

Each element of Work|Life|Balance can change from week to week. Life happens and so do emergencies.

A perfect example of this is work. Your employer may offer you overtime and/or you have to work on a statutory holiday.

Sleep, yes we would all love to have 8 hours of beautiful, deep sleep but most people are walking around on serious sleep deprivation.

Exercise, it’s a must. You have to move your body every day and get your heart rate up! It is the best modality for stress reduction and helps you sleep!

Social time is very important as it allows you to connect with your friends and just have fun! Laughter is the best medicine and you must find the time to connect as it is and can also be an element of your self-care as well!

Family should and always come first. With hectic, busy schedules and each family member heading in a different direction, embrace the “pre-school” moments and “after-school” time if you have the privilege to do so. With many families who have both parents working full time this makes the dinner hour and evening hours even more special.

There is no schedule or Work|Life|Balance equation that is set in stone or is ‘perfect’. This is a very personal exercise which is why I wanted to provide you with a template to use. Being open to review, assess, analyze and reorganize your time is key here. The goal is to ensure that each element of your life is given time each day. It’s going to take a few days to modify and truly implement a new Work|Life|Balance, however, if you stick with it for 3 weeks, a new habit (schedule) will be completed and now exercised every day!

I’ve also created Mama Deb’s 12 Tips for Work|Life|Balance. You can download the free e-book when you follow me on Twitter. Feel free to print it off and put it beside your computer at work or on the front of your refrigerator. I encourage you to share this with others in your life and let’s all get balanced together.

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MamaDebCrowe

What is your soul purpose?

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions?

Why am I here?
What is my soul purpose?

Your physical part may not be aware of it, but
when you really go deep within, you will get an answer.
Your soul knows.

What is it that you are passionate about?
What brings you joy?
What excites you?
What are your gifts & talents?

Those are the clues that will help you
find out what your soul purpose is.

Quiet your mind and go into your heart.
And ask,
“How can I fulfill my soul purpose?”

You are born with purpose.
You are very important in this world.
You are here to share your gifts with the world.
You are here to express who you are.
You are here to live in full potential.
You are here to live your dreams.

Universe is sending you a signal
that it is time for you to go out into the world
and fulfill your purpose.

You are fully supported.

It is time for you to shine your light!

Love, light, & infinite power!
Chiwa Higashi
http://ShineLightNow.com/english

————–
*Angel Message:

Relax..
Rest your body, mind, & spirit.
Give yourself time
to enjoy life.
Your soul wants you to have fun.

We love you.
And we are watching over you.

Sign up for TheChange newsletter